Redemption, Being Present, …and the night when...

Apr 4, 2014
3 min read

‘Redemption, Being Present, …and the night when..." by ANYANWU

Posted: 04/04/2014 12:45 pm EDT

There was the lockdown alive in the classroom, there were the protests swallowing us whole. Distraught adolescents in the chaos of their journey and housed in nonprofit corporate structures. Manu-fractured healing times only to stumble on the needing fines. …and I thought I was living then.

I was not dying but I was chasing my own healing through the practices of holding space for others to find their own. While conjuring up a decay as I taught, consoled, organized, led and gave to those along my road the time came in which Mother Father God swept me in to the pits of their wings and I found myself inside myself, dug out like the depths of coves. The time came that I had to stand still, to refill… to claim redemption.

After this time and moment in space when I was rocked, displaced and questioned about my intentions by Spirit I have come to find that allowing myself to not fear the projections of other's judgment or assumptions; let alone those of my own or systems I live in, grants a grand gesture of blessing and clarity. Sustaining space within and around myself so that I may receive all that is offered and due is to live in grand Truth. I say not that it is a choice of ease, being present is not, and it does require a great bit of reform. Nonetheless, to allow myself to be present I have learned it is to surrender, to giving myself over to trusting the process of being and dismissing the dis-ease to control. I have come to live rather in governance, to own the power of choice yet following the guidance of spirit. It is a walk of distinct faith so that naturally divinity can turn inside of me.

Through this practice I have come upon many rituals and ceremonies in this 31 years of birth, dying, and living and with a natural divine order. When I look back into the beginning to now I realize many ceremonies and rituals, not Manu-fractured but rather divinely put in place, have occurred. To that knowledge last night was not a surprise as the key people were remaining on the 10th floor and I was asked, “what do you need… can I touch you?” Speechless the ceremony began.

LAST NIGHT by ANYANWU

It is when I returned to that place to purge the final remnants of that time

When I came into the

Recall of when a ritual took me under, down deep into the graveI was strong then, fearless even

Blood warm and spilling from the holes burned into my body

Gargling whispers of the journey, calling me to choose

I listened

Then I dug through the dirt

I came to the ground

And I chose you

Beloved

I remained