Emotional Trauma and Forgiveness
Spirit has been stirring up the need to Forgive for things I had long left behind me. I have been having this experience with a friend that consistently projects small actions that pull and tug at heart strings deep within me. Disregaurd, lack of acknowledgment, simple passive ways of lacking integrity, broken communication efforts and lack of capacity to be supportive in the ways they want me to be in representation. It of course is causing me to learn about ways I can be lesser parts of myself as I find myself reactive rather than responsive, in and out of being guarded, over negotiating my vulnerability, needing to feel safe, being upset without patience. I even arrived to being so stirred I can physically feel the anxiety and the stimulation of my nervous system being impacted. Its like I am being poured into revisiting old wounds that have closed but the scar tissue is tough and binding. I find myself being misunderstood because reactively my capacity is suppressed by needing to forgive the old stuff while also needing resolution in the present experience but my regurgitation of what is happening within me is wound up in the aged need for closure and the current. I have never been challenged with being aware and usually can hold space for a process but this maze is no joke.
LETTING GO - From this I am re-learning truths I am aware of about letting go. Letting go is not an act of just moving forward. It is an act of courageously facing circumstance, having understanding, and then releasing with forgiveness. To just stop in the tracks of something is moving on but the impact of said experience is in your spirit vibrations and bones if you will. The emotions, the thoughts, the memories get stored in our organs, in our subconscious, in our dusty untapped reserves. Therefore, Letting Go includes the process of arriving at forgiveness it is not simply ignoring something, walking away without attention, or just letting it be. If it has entered your system how is there a healthy accountable way for you to release it from your system rather than storing it without any attention.
